Friday, April 30, 2010

I am Thankful

Today I am thankful. Not that I am not thankful every other day but I would just like to say that I am thankful for all the wonderful things that have been happening in my life and that are about to happen :).  Starting out it has been pretty bittersweet this past month alot of good things have been happening but... since the murder of my uncle and with flying to portland for the funeral and all the extra stresses of life have been overwhelming lately I would like to say that I am thankful for my husband. The picture above is what I came home to after flying back to NC from the funeral. I was a total wreck. After loosing a family member for the first time I began to literally fear loosing another...... It was horrible and still is.... But when I got home it was like he could just make everything okay. The house was sparkling clean, probably cleaner than the day we moved in. Every candle in the house was lit, and dinner was simmering on the stove. He told me to get into the shower and rinse off all of my sadness and when I got out there was a candle lit dinner waiting for me on the table. When I got off of the plane it seeing him was enough to make me feel a million times better. But the little things that he does every day make my life amazing. I am thankful for every one in my life that makes me smile on a daily basis :) I have the most amazing friends and family that anyone could ever ask for. My husband tells me all the time that he thinks that I have the biggest heart of anyone hes ever met in his life. I honestly dont think that I have a bigger heart than most people, however I do think that I choose to use all the space in my heart that I can. Even when people are nasty and judge mental, ignorant or just plain mean, I believe that it takes more energy to hate someone than to just
bid them adieu with your best wishes. Someday they will learn on their own. I am thankful for my husband because he makes me a better person. Together we make the best team :) He picks me up when I am down. Sometimes I get discouraged because I work so hard on my music and I am getting somewhere but veryyyy slowly. He has a way of making me feel like every minute of work is worth it to the moon and back. We like to sit down together and read and reply to all the fan mail from my 11,204 (and counting :) fans on myspace and facebook that are literally all over the world. It makes me feel so good that people can listen to my music and relate to it. People from all ages, shapes and sizes. These past couple of weeks have been so amazing. We read and replied to tons of emails including ones from germany, austria, france, austrailia, japan, brazil and a few other international places as well as all over the united states. I am thankful for each and every fan that I have and I always, ALWAYS try to get back to each and every one of them. I am so grateful to have so many people who enjoy my music as much as I do. Sometimes my husband comes home from a really bad day at work, or sometimes he has a really bad dream about war. I pick him up and I remind him of how much he has done for our country. There is no way that I can understand what he has seen or been through, but I do my best to make him feel better. The thing that always amazes me every time we talk about his deployments (2 so far) is remembering what he told me a long time ago. I asked him what he thinks about when he thinks about war or deploying. He said, "I try not to think about all the horrible things that the taliban does to those poor people, I think about these two little girls and their big bright smiles, after I took them into the med tent, washed their faces and their feet, gave them socks and shoes and clothes that they had never owned in their entire lives, gave them candy and a soccer ball, and sent them on their way" He said that is what keeps him going back. He inspires me every day to be a better person. He tells me all the time that he wouldn't be the man he was without me but I know that isn't true. He was extremely successful in his career long before he met me. But I do my best to stand beside him strong, no matter how much I fear for his life and his safety while he is gone. No matter what. And He does the same for me. He is my other half and I am his.

So this past week has been a pretty successful one for both of us in our ambitions :) He just got put on the roster for a promotion and has to wait for an opening but will definitely be promoted again by July! And I am still working with MTV!! All the paperwork is signed and completed. My license is done and my songs are just waiting to get fit in somewhere! Our puppy Koa just learned to play dead a couple of days ago, we are so proud of him! he is our child. Both of us adore children and want them very badly but we know its best to wait until the time is right. Other than that my 21st is in 4 days on Cinco de mayo! My husband as usual is completely spoiling me by surprise! Last year while he was deployed he got me 20 presents for my 20th birthday. I thought it was just because he was deployed and he wanted to cheer me up because i was going to school full time at U of O as well as working at the daycare and living in the dorms and on top of that being scared to death every single day for his life! But this year he is getting me 21 presents for my 21st and I was like WHAT are you doing that for??? because we are supposed to be saving money for our big move. I keep telling him not to get me any more gifts because he set them on top of the entertainment center all wrapped for me to stare at for half the month. Its been driving me nuts :) He got mad at me and told me "listen, dont tell me what i can or cant do for your birthday, you are my wife and I love you with all my heart and this is what I want to do for you so shut up about it" haha.... didnt argue anymore about that! But he did slip up and give me 2 gifts this past week. One is my DREAM guitar that I have been practically drooling over for months now! 

Isnt it beautiful! :) the other is a wii fit which really works and its so fun! love to do yoga every morning :) Hes like "gotta get in shape babe, youre gonna get big here soon" hes so supportive and absolutely spoils me. 

As far as other music updates go, in march we took 4th place out of almost a thousand songs on's Contest called "Trains, save me San Fransisco songwriting challenge" We did awesome! thank you to all my beautiful fans that were voting for me! This month we took 33rd place in over a thousand songs in a contest to open for Bon Jovi, I realize my music isn't exactly the type to open for Bon Jovi but it was worth a shot and we still got into the top 50! :) But starting May 1st, There will be a new contest that I am entered in. First place winner gets to open for colbie callait and sheryl crow, norah jones and many more at THE LILITH FAIR!!! I am entered in the Portland Oregon contest so starting may first VOTE VOTE VOTE :) check my other websites for more info and more frequent updates. I know there are quite a few of you who read but haven't subscribed yet because I have heard from you about my blog on my other websites so if you are one of them please subscribe and spread the word :) If I get more subscribers I will blog more often. Ive also posted a few more videos on youtube so go check um out!

Thats all for today,
Again thank you thank you thank you everyone. I love you all very much!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Playing for change.

First of all, I was browsing the web yesterday and I have no idea how, but I was guitar dream shopping and I came across this website I discovered the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Playing for Change is a multimedia movement created to inspire, connect, and bring peace to the world through music. The idea for this project arose from a common belief that music has the power to break down boundaries and overcome distances between people. No matter whether people come from different geographic, political, economic, spiritual or ideological backgrounds, music has the universal power to transcend and unite us as one human race. And with this truth firmly fixed in our minds, we set out to share it with the world.

It is ironic because my last blog was about how I was extremely inspired by the same sort of video that all those artists came together to create in honor of the people of haiti and the king of pop MJ.

This is the most beautiful musical movement that ever existed. This is music. THIS is what I live for. I am playing for change.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Its All About The Music

Lately I have been thinking, and seeing on a daily basis how cruel people can be. How heartless and self absorbed this world can seem. Sometimes I think about Karma, and how it makes the world go round. How people believe in Karma but only the bad kind. They choose not to do things because it makes them nervous about how karma will catch up with them. What happened to "paying it forward"?? What about good karma and good deeds? I like to shop at boarders books, when I do i like to pick out an extra book I liked as a child to donate to the needy children of the world who don't have the luxury of having books to read like the Boxcar Children or the Velveteen Rabbit. That is just an example of something that I cant understand. I cant understand why more people don't do things like that, why more people cant take one minute out of their busy lives to stop and think about the other people in the world. Dont get me wrong, I am in no way shape or form a saint. But I try to do what I can to make a difference.

why must people always assume that when a person is considerate of other people's feelings that they are "Fake" because they have alot of friends and because they are very social and involved in society that they are putting on some sort of show? Is it so hard to believe that one doesnt have alot of enemies because they simply choose not to screw people over? I think about this because this brings me back to the cruel world chain of thinking. Do people automatically think a person is putting on a show in order to have a lot of friends and few enemies because they don't believe that there are actually good hearted  people in the world? who even knows...... Then there's the people who go around committing crimes, taking lives, reproducing and bringing children into the world only to neglect them and mistreat them until they eventually end up in "the system." Everything keeps bringing me back to the same question, WHY? Why must you degrade people? why must you act as if and pardon my french "your shit dont stink" why must you kill? why must you rape? why why why?

I recently have written 2 songs that express these feelings, The first thing that sparked my inspiration for this song actually came about while I was enjoying the simplicity of social networking on facebook. Because I live so far from home I enjoy keeping touch with friends, browsing through their pictures and looking at their profiles, admiring the happiness of others. That simplicity was tainted by those select few (and I think we all have some of them on our friends list) that decide to abuse the privilege of keeping in touch with friends by constantly posting Vague status updates that are degrading to people, those status updates that make you wonder if they are talking about you, the ones who gloat about their everyday accomplishments, not because they feel accomplished and are happy with their lives but because they want to make the people around them feel like their life is "better." Those select few who go around undermining people and making you feel as if you know nothing. I cant help but laugh when I see these things because its so obvious that they are insecure and unhappy with their lives that they have to make people feel this way for their own gratification. I just want to say, spend your time making your life better by appreciating what you have and cherishing your friendships instead of constantly worrying about what everyone else is doing. That is the story behind this song..........

What's goin on, In this world today
When all they see, is a pretty little face
You dont know me, you dont owe me,
And quite frankly, I dont really give a damn about
Your negativity yeah

Chorus: Take your time,
Apply it to yourself
Instead of always worrying
About everybody else.
Take your shoes,
Start walkin in a straight line
Just live your own life, Live your own life

You dont know more than the rest
and no no you're not the best
you see people like you and me
we all live equally
so many people get victimized
so many children get traumatized
it just aint right......

Chorus: Take your time,
Apply it to yourself
Instead of always worrying
About everybody else.
Take your shoes,
Start walkin in a straight line
Just live your own life, Live your own life

This is the 2nd song that I wrote on the uke, the day after I found out about what tragically happened to my Uncle Jake.....

This world this world can be so cruel
Can turn a good man to a fool
Can be your friend and enemy
Can imprison you or set you free
So uncle Jakie rest in peace

Stay strong papa don’t you cry
Lead us Jakie help is find
The answers that you left behind
Help us serve the justice to
The monster who did this to you

Sister loves you mommy too
Niece and nephew will miss you
Friends and family near and far
Will keep you safe inside their hearts

Take us Jakie to the beach
Swimming laughing carelessly
Like we always did before
Tragedy came knocking at the door
Ocean breeze palm trees sway
Until we meet again someday

Rest In Peace Kawela (the heat) “Jakie” Kaluna

e ho Ľomaha me ka maluhia Kawela

After writing these songs, those feelings are released and I feel like I have a weight the size of an elephant lifted from my shoulders. It is the most amazing feeling in the world. The hurt is till there, but the songs help me to express my thoughts and keep my mind at peace. Music heals me and sets me free. The video below is one of the most inspiring things I have ever watched. To me, it illustrates exactly what I have been feeling. It was created after the Haiti disaster, It gives me goosebumps to watch all these musicians who share the same passion. These musicians of all ages, shapes, sizes, and race that come together to sing this song for Haiti and for the world. Things like this, keep my faith in the world strong. Things like this, make the light at the end of the tunnel of this cruel world shine through. Its all about the music.

"We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving"


Sunday, April 11, 2010

First Blog

So.... I decided to create a blog finally after my good friend Chelsea inspired me to. My management and my fans have told me that blogging is important to keep fans updated as well as to let them connect with me on a personal level.

As for whats going on in my music life, If you haven't already heard, MTV contacted me last week and told me "You have that singer/songwriter feel that MTV loves. You are exactly what we are looking for and we are interested in integrating one or some of your tracks in our programming." I still keep pinching myself wondering if this is really going to happen! This could be my big break! I am currently working with my management and MTV on getting my license and registering with the performing rights organization ASCAP so that I can collect royalties and have my songs played on MTV. Kristin, the representative I am working with, works with the documentary sector of MTV is going to present my songs to the board of music directors and that there is a good chance that they will be on shows like, TrueLife, MTV Cribs, 16 and Pregnant, Diaries, Teen moms Etc! I am really excited about it and Cant WAIT to see how it all turns out :)

How did MTV find me? Well I am currently a Member of which is an MTV affiliate and a porthole for independent and upcoming artists. Every month there are promotional competitions that you can enter your songs in. You can also enter your songs into any channel (pop, rock, acoustic etc) sort of like an online radio and compete against the other bands and artists. Last month I took 4th place out of 955 songs in "Trains, Save Me San Fransisco's Songwriting Challenge" The grand prize was a mentoring session with the band Train, as well as $2,000 cash. It was my very first competition and although I didn't take first place, I am very happy with the outcome and impressed that people actually like my music! I never doubted myself but for a long time I thought that my friends and family politely listened to my music.... I guess I have always been afraid of being one of those people on the American Idol flashbacks who think that they can sing but little to their knowledge are extremely tone def :( I feel horrible for them....

Anyway, This month I am entered in another competition, If I win first place I will open for BON JOVI in Hershey, Pennsylvania! You can vote here, I am also entered in the Pop Channel as well as the female singer channel.

Music life is very exciting right now, my fanbase has been growing FAST lately. I have a total of 9,666 Fans on myspace and facebook as illustrated on >>>

I am so grateful for all of you! and I could never be so happy to know that you love my music as much as I do. Dont forget you can download my single "Even when you're gone" on itunes here

As for my personal life, Well It hasn't exactly been peachy....
I am currently back home in Oregon right now, Ive been here since tuesday on account of my Uncle was killed in Gresham (outside of portland) on March 31.... I spent a few days in portland this week while attending his viewing and funeral. May his soul rest in peace. He lost his life at the young age of 21. My grandfather had a son the year before my mother had me. Kawela Jacob "Jakie" Kaluna. Kawela is hawaiian for "The Heat" He was an amazing person and was shot, killed, and robbed. It was premeditated.... I still cant believe it. I feel like a stone, emotionless, empty. Its a horrible feeling to loose a family member, especially one who didn't get the chance to live a full life. Some people say that when its time to go, its time to go... but for some reason I keep thinking that this was not his time to go, that his life was stolen from him and from all of us. That this was a mistake in the great scheme of things..... RIP Uncle Jakie. Always loved, Forever missed. We will keep your memory safe in our hearts.