Friday, April 30, 2010

I am Thankful

Today I am thankful. Not that I am not thankful every other day but I would just like to say that I am thankful for all the wonderful things that have been happening in my life and that are about to happen :).  Starting out it has been pretty bittersweet this past month alot of good things have been happening but... since the murder of my uncle and with flying to portland for the funeral and all the extra stresses of life have been overwhelming lately I would like to say that I am thankful for my husband. The picture above is what I came home to after flying back to NC from the funeral. I was a total wreck. After loosing a family member for the first time I began to literally fear loosing another...... It was horrible and still is.... But when I got home it was like he could just make everything okay. The house was sparkling clean, probably cleaner than the day we moved in. Every candle in the house was lit, and dinner was simmering on the stove. He told me to get into the shower and rinse off all of my sadness and when I got out there was a candle lit dinner waiting for me on the table. When I got off of the plane it seeing him was enough to make me feel a million times better. But the little things that he does every day make my life amazing. I am thankful for every one in my life that makes me smile on a daily basis :) I have the most amazing friends and family that anyone could ever ask for. My husband tells me all the time that he thinks that I have the biggest heart of anyone hes ever met in his life. I honestly dont think that I have a bigger heart than most people, however I do think that I choose to use all the space in my heart that I can. Even when people are nasty and judge mental, ignorant or just plain mean, I believe that it takes more energy to hate someone than to just
bid them adieu with your best wishes. Someday they will learn on their own. I am thankful for my husband because he makes me a better person. Together we make the best team :) He picks me up when I am down. Sometimes I get discouraged because I work so hard on my music and I am getting somewhere but veryyyy slowly. He has a way of making me feel like every minute of work is worth it to the moon and back. We like to sit down together and read and reply to all the fan mail from my 11,204 (and counting :) fans on myspace and facebook that are literally all over the world. It makes me feel so good that people can listen to my music and relate to it. People from all ages, shapes and sizes. These past couple of weeks have been so amazing. We read and replied to tons of emails including ones from germany, austria, france, austrailia, japan, brazil and a few other international places as well as all over the united states. I am thankful for each and every fan that I have and I always, ALWAYS try to get back to each and every one of them. I am so grateful to have so many people who enjoy my music as much as I do. Sometimes my husband comes home from a really bad day at work, or sometimes he has a really bad dream about war. I pick him up and I remind him of how much he has done for our country. There is no way that I can understand what he has seen or been through, but I do my best to make him feel better. The thing that always amazes me every time we talk about his deployments (2 so far) is remembering what he told me a long time ago. I asked him what he thinks about when he thinks about war or deploying. He said, "I try not to think about all the horrible things that the taliban does to those poor people, I think about these two little girls and their big bright smiles, after I took them into the med tent, washed their faces and their feet, gave them socks and shoes and clothes that they had never owned in their entire lives, gave them candy and a soccer ball, and sent them on their way" He said that is what keeps him going back. He inspires me every day to be a better person. He tells me all the time that he wouldn't be the man he was without me but I know that isn't true. He was extremely successful in his career long before he met me. But I do my best to stand beside him strong, no matter how much I fear for his life and his safety while he is gone. No matter what. And He does the same for me. He is my other half and I am his.

So this past week has been a pretty successful one for both of us in our ambitions :) He just got put on the roster for a promotion and has to wait for an opening but will definitely be promoted again by July! And I am still working with MTV!! All the paperwork is signed and completed. My license is done and my songs are just waiting to get fit in somewhere! Our puppy Koa just learned to play dead a couple of days ago, we are so proud of him! he is our child. Both of us adore children and want them very badly but we know its best to wait until the time is right. Other than that my 21st is in 4 days on Cinco de mayo! My husband as usual is completely spoiling me by surprise! Last year while he was deployed he got me 20 presents for my 20th birthday. I thought it was just because he was deployed and he wanted to cheer me up because i was going to school full time at U of O as well as working at the daycare and living in the dorms and on top of that being scared to death every single day for his life! But this year he is getting me 21 presents for my 21st and I was like WHAT are you doing that for??? because we are supposed to be saving money for our big move. I keep telling him not to get me any more gifts because he set them on top of the entertainment center all wrapped for me to stare at for half the month. Its been driving me nuts :) He got mad at me and told me "listen, dont tell me what i can or cant do for your birthday, you are my wife and I love you with all my heart and this is what I want to do for you so shut up about it" haha.... didnt argue anymore about that! But he did slip up and give me 2 gifts this past week. One is my DREAM guitar that I have been practically drooling over for months now! 

Isnt it beautiful! :) the other is a wii fit which really works and its so fun! love to do yoga every morning :) Hes like "gotta get in shape babe, youre gonna get big here soon" hes so supportive and absolutely spoils me. 

As far as other music updates go, in march we took 4th place out of almost a thousand songs on's Contest called "Trains, save me San Fransisco songwriting challenge" We did awesome! thank you to all my beautiful fans that were voting for me! This month we took 33rd place in over a thousand songs in a contest to open for Bon Jovi, I realize my music isn't exactly the type to open for Bon Jovi but it was worth a shot and we still got into the top 50! :) But starting May 1st, There will be a new contest that I am entered in. First place winner gets to open for colbie callait and sheryl crow, norah jones and many more at THE LILITH FAIR!!! I am entered in the Portland Oregon contest so starting may first VOTE VOTE VOTE :) check my other websites for more info and more frequent updates. I know there are quite a few of you who read but haven't subscribed yet because I have heard from you about my blog on my other websites so if you are one of them please subscribe and spread the word :) If I get more subscribers I will blog more often. Ive also posted a few more videos on youtube so go check um out!

Thats all for today,
Again thank you thank you thank you everyone. I love you all very much!

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